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Sleepless in the Saddle '03 Duke Baron von Evilgoat In true Bandito style everything was last minute, lights were modified or built in the days leading up to the event, we arrived and batteries had never held a charge, lighting had never been tested, the term 'shakedown' means nothing to the Bandito crew, we like to live on the edge! Our lights could have failed at any time! They didn't, so it was an improvement over all previous years' races. However, I took a soldering iron (and a dissing for having one) which was depended on for last minute tinkering and we had a multimeter for last minute charge checks. Anyway I disgress, the race: Baboon kicked us off with a leisurely run and tasty ride, and wheelied past the camera for full affect. I took second position. It was a hot day and I was not drinking enough, well, it wasn't that hot in the gazebo shaded eden that was our campsite, so my body said nay to drink (that's non-alcoholic beverage, it was saying yay to beer, but my mind had to overule, that would have been a whole lot messier). So I started my lap on a gentle pedal, enjoyed the descent around the single track down by the lake. then on the fireroad, oh lordy it's hot. At the head of the lake I pass a guy at the side of the trail in distress with his saddle. I stopped to lend my assistance and my not so insignificant trail tool kit. But the very expensive seat post utilises 2.5mm allen keys, not even the barone carries one of those (do they actually make them?) (Yes, they do - I have said post! - Pimpster) so I left him to his 6 very anally painful miles! The first climb approached, in previous years I made this on my first and last laps so determination was with me not to make this an exception. Even though my head was about to explode and the sweat was running off me fast enough to form a major tributary to the nearby River Trent, I made it to the top in one. The next singletrack section was one of those bits of downhill trail where you find your self working harder than on the up hill. Loads of fun but no chance of recovery. The next climb was short, appeared without warning and was evil. The red mist had descended things were fuzzy around the edges and my stomach was expulsive. So I left some pre-digested trail food for the rabbits. And lost loads of time. Things weren't looking up for me, I was now nicely dehydrated, chunder and heat had done for me, and drinking as much as I could from my Camelbak was not replacing lost fluid fast enough. I was riding exceptionally slowly, everything hurt, my head was buzzing like a fridge, and my vision was restricted to a spot about a foot above the trail 200 yards in front. Oh dear. Things were starting to come back together at the top of the quarry, I loosened up a bit, my body showed a little recovery, I was sure I was going to make it to the end. Then came the steep, loose descent. I was coping, the bike was upright, both wheels were drifting, the envelope was being pushed, but I was going to make it to the bottom in one piece. That premise obviously only stands when the intervention of other not so deft bicycle riders is not considered. Someone, who can only be described as a Goatboater, rear ended me and took someone else out at the same time. Luckily no damage was done (funnily enough on all other laps this descent was a whole lot easier, a nice line to the left. Don't know what all the fuss was about). I eventually completed my first lap from hell, in a wholly unacceptable time. and checked myself straight into the Ambulance Tent. Visitor number nine, number one dehydration. Not bad, Bandito Allstars keeping it real! Apart from chain snappage at 3am, the rest of the race was uneventful, fun, but not as exciting, with appalingly slow laps from me. The absolute highlight was riding the last lap, it got muddy and the course was fantastic in the mud. I was overtaking people! Hurrah! Plus the feeling of riding the finish straight with mucho cheering from Bandito supporters (they were all there to see me finish you know!) and shaking the hand of the almighty Patrick Adams was a worth the pain and suffering. Bandito Allstars will be back, this time with a vengeance! IR Baboon Woja Start: I think I definately had the hardest part of this, holding Phillipa and chatting to some girl next to me. Oh, the stress... Good start was made though! 1st lap: Easier than I thought! (gulp) 2nd lap: Hmmmm... 3rd lap: Night lap, Mmmmm Lumicycles! Shower: well needed!! 4th and 5th laps: ouch (and chainsuck) 6th (and final) lap: wet - what was dusty gravel was now sticky mud. All the fun of the fair! God I love disk brakes!! Packing up: hard work... Night in the Barone's lair: beer is good... Getting up isn't... |
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