Singlespeed World Champs 2004: Berlin
Bandito Dan

Thursday
Pootle down motorway with the back seats down with a bike box, bike bag and Rudi horizontal in the back of the Polo. Fly out, meet fellow SSers Tim Chris and Gizmo. Get cab from airport to Generator Hostel. Is it possible to fit 5 bikes, assorted luggage and six people in a Mercedes people carrier? It would appear it is.
Get into hostel, get bike built. Get registered, get g@y pink wristband.
To the bar!
There is assorted drinking, merry making, consumption of combustables, and kebab eating until 2am. I decide it's bedtime when sitting on a wall with Andy Armstrong, Jon Woodhouse, Raoul Morly, Nightfire and Chris Heath and the Hostel starts rotating. By all accounts Matt@Chelmer and Gizmo have been banned from the bar for being sick on it. Nice. Yet Matt can still manage to ride his fixie around the parking area.

Friday
Crawl out of bed sometime in the morning, and after consumption hangover reducing food and drink I get my sh1t together and we take in a bike tour of berlin. Nice buzz riding around the centre of berlin with 30-40 other SSers. Tour takes in Brandenburg gate, Reichstag and a couple of beer gardens. Get back to hostel hook up with Claire and we go find dinner. Pre-race party. Beer, Punk, female stripper for Jess from Spot bikes/Phaty, more beer, Kebab, crawl home bed by 3.30am.
I ruled the Mosh Pit by the way and have the scabs and bruises to prove it.

Saturday - Race Day
Fall out of bed and get bike on truck so it can get to the course. Choke down some breakfast and then endure over an hour on a bus in the company of good hungover folks Matt, Jez, AgonyAunt, Rudi etc.
Get race number.
We have to show the Germans how to do a Le mans style start.
And we are off, to a nice chilled first lap and the do a quicker second lap until I find hecklers corner and join in the abuse.
'Highlights' include Shaggy riding in the nood, Rudi in the tutu, SS tandems, abusing germans, Biff mincing. And telling people to look at the tree and watching them crash.
Once we realise the race is over we crawl around course and then to wind up Phaty we head to the finish en-masse, only turn around and ride back up the course.
We then ride back to the finsh, put our bikes in a big pile and link hands before crossing the line skipping. When I say 'we' I mean me, Chris (cyclenaut), Chipps, Raoul, Chris Heath, Dave Andersen, Chewbacca, Tim and Jon W.

Comedy moment
After the race I pound two beers in five minutes and eat chips and Bratwurst. And then I realize the bike trucks are full and my bike isn't on it. I find nice people with space in their car and my bike gets home safely. We then endure a bus ride home. Most sleep but I'm hanging with the Oz and Nz contingents and the guys from ONE mag keep me entertained. Someone wees in their Camelbak. There is a rush off the bus for the loos. Post race party consists of beer, getting swag for being nood, etc. Claire and I head to bed due heavy eyelids, but apparently there is derbying, a skid contest (with added noodity, FFS Gizmo...)

Sunday
Up late, breakfast, head to Jewish museum; it's OK. Bump into Andy A and seeing as his food has just arrived at the Cafe he is inhabiting we decide that this is a good place for lunch. Eat Cuban food. The its back to the Hostel for a couple of beers, a kebab and an earlish night.

Monday
Shopping - new Crumpler courier bag for me and some new shoes for Claire. Bump into Biff pushing a child in a pushchair. Oh no! He's breeding! Fly home. Boo!
Andy A and Jon W have a securty scare apparently.

Sleep.

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